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There's a whole lot I could say about gifting. It's something that have I some very particular attitudes toward; attitudes that have sometimes been for the worse but I'm hoping have overall, on balance, been for the better.

Essentially, I do not really like giving gifts just for the sake of giving a gift. When I do give a gift, I feel like it should have a strong reason behind it. I will, however, go out of my way and spend any amount of time, money, or effort on gifting something that I think someone needs to get. It's these two qualities in parallel that simultaneously make me a very bad and very good gifter.

I don't like going to a big box budget retailer for the sole intention of picking up a few interchangable gift boxes for people I'm seeing. That really rubs me the wrong way - especially because I don't like the taboo on not giving cash. I understand that getting a special novelty item shows more care and intention than just handing over 30 bucks, it's also going out of their way to make it less useful than $30 would be! Anyway I digress, I understand it but I'm not a big fan of those kinds of gifts and don't give them out myself.

What I am pretty good at is noticing what people want, or what they unknowingly need. Probably because I am doing this for myself 24/7. I really enjoy the process of spotting inefficiencies or obstacles in my life, devising a plan to address those problems, and then solving it once and for all so I never have to think about it again. This process usually of involves spending some money of course, but given that the point of money is to make people's lives easier this sounds good to me.

To me, the ideal gift is one that addresses a real inefficiency in someone's life, no matter how small; something that will be used everyday. Even if it doesn't have my name on it or they forget where it came from, it's very satisfying to me to know that I have made a tangible impact on someone's life. It can be a little silly to gift something as mundane as a wrench or paper towel holder, but I'd rather do that than a generic prepackaged gift box.

This also means that I don't often gift on special gifting occasions, but I do try to do everyday gifts whenever I notice something that I think somebody should have. I think this can be touching at times, just out of the sheer fact of being noticed and remembered. It can also be a little awkward to not know what to bring to a birthday party or holiday and end up empty handed.

To be clear, I should mention that I also am more than happy to get gifts that people ask for. I prefer it when people have wish lifts or gift registries since that takes away any of the difficult decision making process. Kids are actually incredibly easy to gift for in this respect, because they are very vocal about what they want, and I'm more than happy to get them what they actually seem to want rather than a cheap but shiny amazon knockoff.

I think there's always an interesting undertone of money as well when gifting. Most of what I've said applies when I'm gifting to people who are in a similar position to me - pretty financially secure and not in immediate need of anything specific. That's why I only want to get them someone they actually need. For other contexts, I'm perfectly happy to get them items just for the sake of it because it's goes unspoken that it will ease their financial burden.

Oftentimes I want to get people something, but there's no immediate need to be filled in their lives. If we're both well off, there's no point in just buying something generic because the cost of the item isn't the central part of the message of the gift, the thought behind it is. For these situations, I really like gifting items that I've personally made myself. This often takes up many hours of time, especially since I'm not some master craftsman with a go to gift, and plus it's extremely likely it will end up looking worse than the $10 equivalent on amazon. Still, doing so is a sign of spending many hours for their sake and in my opinion makes for one of the best types of gifts.

I also like to pay for shared experiences when I can. Sometimes this can just be taking people out to a restaurant and paying for the meal, but anybody can take themselves out to the same restaurant just as easily. Unless there's a financial aspect involved or something unique I can provide with the restaurant, I'll pass. Instead, I prefer to take people on experiences that only I can provide, because these will be much more memorable and much more personal.

Taking my friends sailing is a good example. It's a skill I can only do because of a couple dozen hours I've put into learning it. There's the unspoken cost of the rental membership I have, so it goes without saying that I'm happy spending money on a friend. Most of all, it's something really unique that only I can provide, and that's what makes it special.

I suppose if I had to condense my gift giving ethos into one phrase, it would be that "I want to give gifts that only I can give". Sometimes it can be generic product or experience, if I'm the only one in their lives who can easily provide it. Otherwise, it has to be something special. A product of many hours of making or learning something. An item that will fix an obstacle that nobody, not even the recipient, has noticed.

In my experience, those gifts are the best gifts of all.